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Author Topic: ?The president?s been shot by me. Oh my God, the president?s been shot by me.?  (Read 1802 times)

Offline Bill Chapman

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Area Man Can Remember Exactly Where He Was, What He Was Doing When He Assassinated John F. Kennedy
11/22/13 10:31am
The Onion

LANGLEY, VA?Saying that he will never forget the events of that fateful day, local man Edgar Denton, 81, told reporters Friday that, five decades later, he could still recall exactly where he was and what he was doing the day he shot and killed former U.S. president John F. Kennedy.


81-year-old Edgar Denton says he can still recall, with total clarity, that fateful November day when he murdered President Kennedy.

?Everyone my age has a story about where they were when JFK was assassinated, and I?m no exception,? said Denton, emphasizing that his memories of the Friday morning in which he shouldered his M14 rifle, brought the presidential motorcade into his sights, and sent a bullet into the brain of the 35th president of the United States remain as vivid as ever. ?I remember I was in Dallas at the time. Specifically, I was positioned behind a fence at street-level in Dealey Plaza right when I gunned down the president.?

?The image of everyone on the streets below panicking because I had just murdered the leader of the free world will stay with me for the rest of my life,? Denton continued.

Despite a full 50 years having passed since his covert assassination of a sitting U.S. president, Denton said that the day on which he killed Kennedy remains fresh in his mind, stressing that he could still recall, with complete clarity, the meticulous preparations he made in the minutes leading up to 12:30 in the afternoon on November 22, 1963.

In fact, the gunman confirmed that he could recall with pinpoint accuracy the exact location of the concealed sniper?s nest he was standing in that morning as he patiently waited for Kennedy?s 1961 Lincoln Continental to turn onto Elm Street and enter into his crosshairs. The contract killer also maintained that he remembers hearing Secret Service director James J. Rowley?s voice coming through his walkie-talkie giving him the go-ahead ?like it was yesterday.?

Furthermore, Denton, a former Green Beret and lifelong Freemason, told reporters that the passage of time has in no way dulled the immense emotional impact of learning that the president had been successfully killed by him, saying that these mental impressions continue to be as lucid for him today as they were on the very day he eliminated JFK.

?When Walter Cronkite came on TV and told the nation that JFK was dead, it almost didn't feel real,? said Denton, recounting how he spent much of the historic afternoon inside a safe house, cleaning his rifle and thinking, ?The president?s been shot by me. Oh my God, the president?s been shot by me.? ?But despite how surreal it all was at the time, right now I could walk you through exactly what happened that day: hastily making my way to the rear entrance of the the Dal-Tex building, having the CIA pick me up and congratulate me, accepting $50,000 in bearer bonds. I could even tell you word for word what I wrote on that telegram to Ho Chi Minh.?

?I?ll never forget rushing home and hugging my wife and kids and telling them that everything would be all right,? added Denton, noting that he himself broke down into tears of joy upon realizing that the police had taken another suspect into custody.

Denton, who said that his violent unseating of the president and the aftermath remain among his most coherent memories, explained that he will regularly describe in pitch-perfect detail the circumstances of the slaying to his grandchildren.

However, the 81-year-old emphasized that JFK?s death is far more than just a personal matter.

Indeed, the hitman claimed that everyone who contributed to the plot has their own story about where they were when they received word that the extensively coordinated undertaking had been pulled off successfully, calling JFK?s assassination the defining moment of a generation for everybody who participated in the murder of the 35th president.

?Those of us who worked for months to put an end to the president?s life will always remember where they were on that day,? Denton said, referring to Dallas resident Abraham Zapruder, then?Postmaster General John A. Gronouski, and Vice President Lyndon Johnson, among many others. ?For everyone who conspired to execute the president of the United States in broad daylight, that day will always be part of our shared experience.?

?It?s definitely way more memorable than that whole thing with his brother,? Denton added. ?Honestly, I barely recollect doing that one at all.?

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Online Dan DAlimonte

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Just to double check, is his last name, Denton or Dented?
It may be important.
« Last Edit: March 05, 2018, 02:01:19 PM by Dan DAlimonte »

Offline Steve M. Galbraith

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Darned, I thought it was the Queen confessing.

Or LBJ, Hoover, McCone, Dulles, Harvey, Greer, Lansdale, some KKK clown, a Bircher, Skull and Bones, 101st Airborne, Tippit, Ruby, Federal Reserve member, Hunt, Hunt again (the other one).....who am I leaving out?

Anyone (and everyone) except Oswald. There is no way he did it. Anyone else? Sure, but not Lee. That's an idea for simpletons.

Dunning Kruger indeed.

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Offline Bill Chapman

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Just to double check, is his last name, Denton or Dented?
It may be important.

It's from The Onion

Need I say more?
Apparently..
« Last Edit: March 05, 2018, 05:03:49 PM by Bill Chapman »

Offline Bill Chapman

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Darned, I thought it was the Queen confessing.

Or LBJ, Hoover, McCone, Dulles, Harvey, Greer, Lansdale, some KKK clown, a Bircher, Skull and Bones, 101st Airborne, Tippit, Ruby, Federal Reserve member, Hunt, Hunt again (the other one).....who am I leaving out?

Anyone (and everyone) except Oswald. There is no way he did it. Anyone else? Sure, but not Lee. That's an idea for simpletons.

Dunning Kruger indeed.

Get a load of DAlimonte
He thinks someone actually said this
WTF, eh? HaHa.

"Anyone (and everyone) except Oswald"
Yes, that's why I call the shooter RandomMan at times

Like the grounded, eminently sensible Steve Shives on YouTube says, JFK conspiracy theorists are silly and worthy only of mockery. (Now watch some CTroll accuse me of relying on other people to tell me how to think haha).

I've got even funnier takes
The hits just keep on comin'

Stay tuned
« Last Edit: March 05, 2018, 05:44:09 PM by Bill Chapman »

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Online Walt Cakebread

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Get a load of DAlimonte
He thinks someone actually said this
WTF, eh? HaHa.

"Anyone (and everyone) except Oswald"
Yes, that's why I call the shooter RandomMan at times

Like the grounded, eminently sensible Steve Shives on YouTube says, JFK conspiracy theorists are silly and worthy only of mockery. (Now watch some CTroll accuse me of relying on other people to tell me how to think).

I've got even funnier takes
The hits just keep on comin'

Stay tuned

The guys tale is far more plausible than Arlan Spector's......

Offline Bill Chapman

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The guys tale is far more plausible than Arlan Spector's......

Good one (joke I mean, not conclusion)
« Last Edit: March 05, 2018, 06:26:33 PM by Bill Chapman »

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Online John Iacoletti

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Hey, you might be on to something.


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Online Dan DAlimonte

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Get a load of DAlimonte
He thinks someone actually said this
WTF, eh? HaHa.

"Anyone (and everyone) except Oswald"
Yes, that's why I call the shooter RandomMan at times

Like the grounded, eminently sensible Steve Shives on YouTube says, JFK conspiracy theorists are silly and worthy only of mockery. (Now watch some CTroll accuse me of relying on other people to tell me how to think haha).

I've got even funnier takes
The hits just keep on comin'

Stay tuned

When I stated that if his last name was Dented as opposed to Denton I was implying
that in reality he must have been whacked in the head.  That either way you look at it, he
must have been whacked in the head.  My fault for writing it the way I did.



« Last Edit: March 06, 2018, 01:57:16 AM by Dan DAlimonte »

Offline Joe Elliott

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People who admit that they shot at the President (like James Files) always claim they fired the fatal head shot. We never have one step forward and confess that they made the shot that missed the limousine and nicked James Tague. People will admit to almost anything. Admit to being a murderer, a traitor, a mobster, a mistress, a prostitute, a gun runner, anything except being a total klutz.

It?s conceivable we will someday find out who killed the President. But we will never find out who nicked James Tague. That shooter will take that secret to the grave.
« Last Edit: March 06, 2018, 02:56:42 AM by Joe Elliott »

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