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Home Remedies (Read 304 times)

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Kathy Becket

November 10, 2010, 03:40:59 PM

Super Member

Posts: 567

I thought it a good idea to post a topic on home remedies, and found this one available. Here you go:

SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

(From Laughshop.com)

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Mark Valenti

November 10, 2010, 04:56:26 PM

Super Member

Posts: 1711

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Calli Robertson

November 10, 2010, 09:47:30 PM

Jr. Member

Posts: 55

Following on,

WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed, to remove the stains.

CINEMAGOERS: Have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by using the toilet before the film starts.

PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by moving everything into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, move it all back again.

SINGLE MEN: Convince people you have a girlfriend by standing outside Versace with bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.

SINGLE MEN: Get a glimpse of married life by taping Woman's Hour on Radio 600, then playing it back at a higher volume than the TV while trying to watch a JFK documentary.

SCROOGES: Save money at Christmas by returning last year's cards to the sender with the simple inscription "Same to you".

TOWN COUNCILS: Reduce litter problems by issuing blind folk with pointy white sticks.

CYCLISTS: Avoid getting a sore behind by simply placing a naan bread over your saddle. This will comfort your ride and when you return home, hey presto! A warm snack.

FEMALE shop assistants: When a garage mechanic comes to your till, add on a selection of random items they didn't know they needed and charge them $50 labour costs for the transaction.

McDONALD'S: Make your brown carrier bags green, so they blend in with the countryside after they've been thrown out of car windows.

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'Jumping out of trees that tall is not an easy task, regardless of age (it’s easier to just fall out of it)' --- Keller Jackson

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Ian Kingsbury

November 10, 2010, 10:17:14 PM

Super Member

Posts: 5248

just a few more

Girls. Next time you feel like throwing a ball over-arm, don't, because you can't and it just looks silly. Just throw it girlie under-arm style, and no-one will laugh at you, or get hurt.

Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.

X-Files fans. Create the effect of being abducted by aliens by drinking two bottles of vodka. You'll invariably wake up in a strange place the following morning, having had your memory mysteriously 'erased'.

Minor skin grafts can be performed on pigs by covering any cuts and grazes with thin strips of bacon.

Save money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply changing your name to match your existing plate. - Mr. KVL 741Y,

Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

Avoid jet lag by simply taking an earlier flight, thus arriving fully refreshed and on time.

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Some things we know we know,the rest we have to find out for ourselves

One of the first things we found out was that the Warren Commission never pursued a conspiracy investigation.
Louis Stokes

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room

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Gary Holt

November 10, 2010, 11:20:15 PM

Super Member

Posts: 841

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Dream As If You'll Live Forever
Live As If You'll Die Today

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Kathy Becket

November 11, 2010, 07:51:50 AM

Super Member

Posts: 567

Adding ways to save money to the list :

There was a list of funny ways to save money on a "frugal living" website. They weren't necessarily meant to be funny, but were gleaned from real suggestions sent in. Some cheapskates don't seem to notice that an extra hour at work might put them further ahead than many hours of penny-pinching.

The following are real suggestions, and then there are some funny ways to save money that you really shouldn't try.

Funny Ways To Save Money - The Real Suggestions

One person suggested ways to save money on weddings that included picking up the leftover flowers at a cemetery. I'm not sue how you can tell which are "leftovers."

Another creative penny pincher found a way to save money on a car wash. He washed his entire car using the squeegee at the gas station.

A woman confessed that she has the kids stuff their pockets with the free ketchup, salt and other condiment packets every time they were in a fast food restaurant. That's not all, though. She actually had the kids squeeze ketchup and mustard from the packets into regular jars of ketchup and mustard, and claims she hasn't bought these condiments in years.

To save money on an umbrella, one man suggests going to the lost and found department of any large public library. Tell them you lost a black umbrella. They will have several, from which you can pick the best one and claim it as your own.

Call people long-distance when you know they won't be home. Leave a message for them to call. That way, they pay for the long-distance call.

Don't pay baby sitters! Get young couples who are thinking about having kids to "rent" yours for the evening. They get to see what it will be like, and you can get paid instead of paying for sitters.

Turn off the TV and all the lights to save electricity. Tell the kids it's a game of hide-and-seek.

Train your dog to beg for food from strangers, so you won't have to buy dog food.

Rub pine needles under your arms instead of buying deodorant.

Take extra napkins from fast food restaurants to save on toilet paper.

Borrow your neighbors toothbrush instead of buying your own.

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